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User blog:SteveBobMinecraftPants/Letter Late than Always
While sorting letters at the post office, mail carrier Dogert begins rummaging through the mail. He begins eating the contents of a box of chocolates while reading a depressing letter. He gets chocolate all over the paper and blows his nose on it when the letter begins to make him break down into tears. He then takes and stretches out a sweater from a box, before picking up his mail bag and heading out on his route. Before he leaves the building, he looks at a painting of another mail-dog on the wall, saluting and taking pride in his duties. As he walks up to his first house, he is frightened to see a doghouse with a skull over the doorway. He is relieved to find a turtle come out and begins rubbing its head with his finger. The turtle bites down hard on his finger, making him scream and flail wildly. He begins running back to his mail truck, but numerous obstacles slow him down as the turtle slowly chases after him. While trying to find the right key to open the door, he is attacked by the turtle. He barely manages to get into his truck and escape with his life. He licks a stamp, puts it on one of his cuts, and sadly takes his mail carrier's hat off. When he looks at a small picture of the mail-dog, however, he gets a resurgence of pride and puts his cap back on. His next stop is Cook and Chick's house. Cook had previously taken out the garbage, including a cardboard box, which Chich, wanting to play, climbed into. Dogert thinks the box is mail and tosses it into his truck. He turns around to see the turtle slowly walking up the road to attack him again. Dogert looks through the mail for things to protect himself and eventually comes across a can of dog repellent. He has difficulty pointing the can forward and sprays himself in the eyes three times before getting attacked by the turtle again. Once more, he manages to escape into his truck and drives off. Dogert puts more stamps over his cuts and curses loudly as he throws off his mail carrier's cap. Upon looking at the picture of the mail-dog, however, Dogert once more feels pride for his job and continues on his way. He now comes to Sannas' house and realizes that the sweater he is wearing is meant for her. He takes it off and puts it back in the box, but when Sanna puts it on, it is too big for her. Dogert drives off and carelessly splashes Sanna with muddy water. The sun comes out, however, drying the water and causing the sweater to shrink to a perfect fit. Sanna laughs at her luck, but the sweater continues to shrink. Sanna struggles to pull it off, but it shrinks so much that she is unable to move her arms. The blood flow to her head eventually stops, causing her head to turn burgundy-colored, and her ears puff up. Her body eventually gets to point where her head just forces itself off. Her detached head deflates like a balloon, landing in her mailbox, where blood seeps out seconds later. Next on Dogert's route is Stevies' house, where Dogert, for some reason, thinks the box he picked up at Cook's house is supposed to go. Dogert realizes that the box is too big for the mail slot, but decides to slide it through anyway. Stevie hears Dogert and walks to his door. He grabs the box, which now resembles a pizza box, from the slot. He opens the box and sees Chick's flattened body, resembling a bloody, bone- and organ-filled pizza. Stevie drops the box and runs away, screaming. Dogert finally reaches the last house on his route, but upon trying to put a letter in the mailbox, it collapses. He sees that the house is up a tall mountain, so he begins his trek to do his duty. Neither rain, nor snow, nor heat, nor gloom of night keeps him from the completion of his appointed rounds. He makes it to the top of the mountain, only to find the turtle, whom has somehow reached the top, waiting for him. He backs away in fright and falls off the mountain, breaking numerous bones and dislodging part of his spine from his body when he hits the ground. The turtle appears before him and grabs Dogert's foot in its mouth. It begins pulling Dogert into its shell, eating him as it goes. Dogert sees the dog repellent and tries to grab it to save himself, but his ears touch the button and once again send the spray right into his eyes. As the turtle finishes eating Dogert, it spits one of his ears out of its shell. Before the story ends, the turtle belches loudly with Dogert's blood. Moral: "Good things come in small packages" Category:Blog posts